


Peace Comes Bearing Shoes That Dare Not Fit

by thefrogg



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-04
Updated: 2008-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 17:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrogg/pseuds/thefrogg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two decisions need to be made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peace Comes Bearing Shoes That Dare Not Fit

**Author's Note:**

> Set 20 years into the future, after season 4. Season 5 did not happen.

Lorne sensed Todd behind him long before cool fingers brushed his back.  Knuckles ghosted along bare skin, tracing marks Lorne knew were there, a shallow arc of vaguely y-shaped bruises beneath a shoulderblade, ranging from livid purple-red to fading greenish yellow.  He shivered involuntarily, ducking his head; his salt-and-pepper hair ruffled in the wind.

"Have you decided?" Todd asked, voice held carefully neutral.

Lorne didn't answer, didn't turn to look even as he raised his head, staring out at the city spread beneath his -- their -- balcony without seeing any of it.

"Your friends from Earth arrive tomorrow."

"There are so few left."  Lorne shifted his weight, resting one knee against the rail; always a little loose, his jeans slipped a bit, enough that Todd slid two fingers beneath the waist to tug it back over Lorne's hip.  "We lost so many."

"Yes.  And we gained much."

"Have we?"  He let out a ragged sigh, memories washing over him.

"We are allies now."

"Mmm."  Leaning into the hand now pressed flat to his back, Lorne started yet another of those so-distinctive bruises.  The skin numbed; Lorne felt his mind clear, the tension in his muscles ease as Todd answered his unspoken request and completed the connection.  "Did I ever thank you?"

Todd's silent laughter registered as breath against Lorne's scalp.

"I know.  I...know," Lorne sighed heavily.  They'd had this conversation a hundred times over, so many times it was all but tradition when some painful anniversary came up, or a decision of any consequence had to be made.

They'd never discussed why.  They never had to.  It was just how Lorne worked.  How he mourned.

"You weren't here for the first wave, that first...They dropped out of hyperspace and...if Teyla hadn't--" _been shielded by her Wraith DNA, hadn't been in Atlantis, hadn't been able to switch the cloak to the shield, _he didn't say, remnants of the Teyskarids' telepathic onslaught vivid enough to steal the words.  "She saved us.  So why am I the hero?"

"All of you were heroes then, and you are all heroes now, even those who did not survive.  Teyla does not want attention for it.  You can not avoid it."

"That's what happens when you have to run things," Lorne whispered.  "It took what, two days?  For the entire galaxy to look at Atlantis like some great savior, and we'd already lost five planets and were evacuating a dozen others to this city, and the whole time Rodney's panicking about the shield holding for a week at best."

"You were used to McKay managing the impossible."

"We certainly weren't expecting you to come riding to our rescue."  There was no amusement, no irony in Lorne's voice.

"It is never easy to convince Wraith that alternatives exist."

Todd stood solid at Lorne's back, supporting him as he leaned harder; Todd's feeding hand snaked around Lorne's waist, skidding on damp skin.  "Who would have guessed that a Genii prison and a genetic monstrosity that we turned loose would give us the allies we needed."

"I would not have thought Michael to be an ally."

"He's not."  Lorne tried not to think of the Wraith hybrid, though horribly scarred, still alive and imprisoned more by choice than the outside security.  "But I can't say we would have won the war without him."

"Perhaps.  Perhaps not.  We cannot change the past."  Todd pressed his lips gently to Lorne's scalp in an odd sort of kiss.

Muscles locked up in distant misery, emotion overwhelming the fading edge of Wraith enzymes.  "No, we can't change it.  Only remember it.  And the IOA..."

"It is human nature to honor the dead."

Chuckling ruefully, Lorne shook his head.  "No, it is human nature to bitch about the budget.  The Hall was our investment, our memorial."  _Our graveyard and our museum._

"That is why you need to decide," Todd said, gently bringing them back on topic.

Again, silence answered, Lorne watching the activity on the docks below: humans and Wraith alike swarming over the hull of a Hive ship, Darts lined up like tallymarks in front of it; a Daedelus-style ship under construction.  Todd's Hive, and a handful of other ships from other worlds, were being serviced or repaired out of sight.  "Why?" he asked finally.

"Because your people need you.  Because the memory of our being enemies is too strong for many, and will be for some time, and I do not know if someone else can hold us together."  Todd sighed.  "Because Atlantis has been free in all but name for too long."

"This is not about a person, Todd, we can't do this if it's just about me.  We almost lost the war because of that.  Because this was -- is -- John's city."  

"Is it less John's city because he is gone?  Does Ronon matter less because he has become legend instead of flesh?  Does Rodney's brilliance shine--"

"Todd."  Lorne's throat closed at the thought of those lost, the too-perfect image of the Hall he spent so much time in, with its portraits and gardens and walls of stone.  The names of those who'd fought and died, sometimes of entire planets.  The death toll would never be known, even in generalities.

"There will be time to train people, but that time is not now.  The Senate has been elected.  The Council is in place.  But without clear leadership--"

"It all falls apart."

"Yes."

"There aren't any alternatives."

"No one still alive.  Or known to even a majority of the planets involved.  And if it means anything to you, I think Sheppard would approve."

"I hate politics."

Todd laughed, the hissing rumble vibrating through Lorne's body.  "I believe your people have a saying, something about people who hate politics making the best politicians."

Lorne groaned.  "Fine, fine, tell them I'll take the position.  At least for now."

The sense of triumph was brief, quickly replaced by hesitancy as Todd asked, "And the Gift?"

Lorne didn't answer for a long time.  "Humans weren't meant to live forever," he said finally.

"And?"

Lorne turned in Todd's arms, looking up solemnly before answering.  "I can't promise forever.  I can't promise..."  He swallowed hard, fists clenching at his sides.  "Promise me.  Promise me that if it gets too much, if...I can't.  I don't want to have to wait.  I don't want to, to suffer."  His eyes burned.

"I can promise you swift, and painless."

Taking air in small gulps, Lorne nodded shakily and took Todd's hand, pressing the feeding slit to his chest in answer.


End file.
